Gender Disappointment... Ahhh...........

So in the last 3 1/2 years I have grown to be very annoyed of a lot of things that people say and do but gender disappointment is on the top of my list.

I understand people have a preference on If they would rather have a boy or girl. I get it, I know first hand how it is to have 3 boys already and be pregnant with your 4th baby. What I don't understand is the people that throw a fit and cry hysterically because they aren't having the gender they want, but I never really paid attention to "gender disappointment" till I was pregnant with my last baby and I started reading pregnancy forums. (stay away, chicks are crazy) There was always an argument on the forums saying,"don't be upset at least you can have a baby" and then their response would be, "well I'm grieving a son or daughter I wanted to have and don't now so for me it's like losing a baby" (yes, true conversation) I know people will be upset when they find out they are not having what they were wishing for, but that's something that should be done privately or with very close friends and family that won't be offended. Can you imagine not being able to get pregnant, or being able to carry a baby or like us lose a child and sit there and have to listen to someone cry and complain that they are having another baby that is not the gender they wanted. Let me be perfectly frank. STOP! Stop having babies if it will make you that upset that you wished you weren't even pregnant, an if you keep having babies and its not the gender you were hoping for, PLEASE just stop the complaining! Everyone knows that you have a 50% chance of having the gender you were wishing for and if that's not ok then stop having kids. There is plenty of people out there that can't have kids of their own and would love to have whatever child God would give them. We were lucky enough to be able to have more children after losing our son but many people can't, and that is more devastating to me than if you didn't get the gender you wanted, so suck it, put a smile on your face and be thankful God has blessed you with a miracle called a baby. Not a boy or a girl but a miracle that you get to bring into this world to love. Living after a loss is hard enough so just please be mindful for the people around you and instead of complaining, count your blessings and be thankful.

The Holidays

The holidays can be very tricky. While everyone around you are celebrating, you are missing your loved one more than ever.
Our first holiday after Elias passed away was Easter. I remember going out to eat with our whole family and my food not being right and just crying at the table. Yes, I definitely wasn't expecting that. I thought I would be fine going out with my family. I mean it was just lunch, but what I didn't realize was it's never just lunch on the holidays. It's a day of sadness and sometimes guilt at first.
Our first Christmas after Elias passed Tidus was already born, so I think it made it a lot easier for us. With that sense of peace comes guilt though. Holidays for us aren't sad anymore. I couldn't tell you the last time I cried during them. I don't know if that's bad, good, or even normal.
I'm sure it would be different if we didn't have any other children or if we would have lost him at an older age where there was more memories of him during the holidays. I know for sure
there is no certain way to act or feel around the holidays. It's all about how you want to live after a loss. It's ok to have holiday cheer, it doesn't mean you are not thinking about or missing your sweet baby, or that others around you aren't either. God is amazing and when is a better time than Christmas to praise him. He gave us his son so we can see our loved ones again.

God Bless and have a Merry Christmas