The Holidays

The holidays can be very tricky. While everyone around you are celebrating, you are missing your loved one more than ever.
Our first holiday after Elias passed away was Easter. I remember going out to eat with our whole family and my food not being right and just crying at the table. Yes, I definitely wasn't expecting that. I thought I would be fine going out with my family. I mean it was just lunch, but what I didn't realize was it's never just lunch on the holidays. It's a day of sadness and sometimes guilt at first.
Our first Christmas after Elias passed Tidus was already born, so I think it made it a lot easier for us. With that sense of peace comes guilt though. Holidays for us aren't sad anymore. I couldn't tell you the last time I cried during them. I don't know if that's bad, good, or even normal.
I'm sure it would be different if we didn't have any other children or if we would have lost him at an older age where there was more memories of him during the holidays. I know for sure
there is no certain way to act or feel around the holidays. It's all about how you want to live after a loss. It's ok to have holiday cheer, it doesn't mean you are not thinking about or missing your sweet baby, or that others around you aren't either. God is amazing and when is a better time than Christmas to praise him. He gave us his son so we can see our loved ones again.

God Bless and have a Merry Christmas