The cemetery

I will be the first one to say I don't go out to his grave site very often. I could probably count on both hands how many times I've gone. I'm not sure if i would go more if he was buried closer or not. Right now he is about 20 minutes away. We've haven't even bought a grave stone yet because we always talk about moving him to our town we live in but I'm not sure if that would really change me going out there to visit.
I know many people close to me that love going to their loved ones grave site. It's therapeutic for them. Even my husband likes going, but to me he's not really there so why go. I feel more at peace looking through photos and watching videos of him. Even at the holidays we have a tree to go out there that lights up but didn't even put it out last year. It sounds horrible but I forgot. Don't get me wrong I never forget about Elias, not one day goes by that I don't talk about him or see him through the kids. Life just gets busy. It might sound weird to people especially those that have lost a loved one. I had our 3rd son before the year anniversary of Elias passing. Our life really couldn't stop with an older son also. Believe me, we celebrate his life everyday. We still go and have a birthday dinner and even have pictures with him. (yes, you heard me.;)) We did have a little birthday celebration at the cemetery for his 1st birthday.
I guess you can say there is no right way or wrong way to visiting or not visiting your loved one at the cemetery. As long as you can get through living after a loss you are doing what's right for you.
God Bless

Comfort care package preview

The first 5 care packages are done, here is a sneak peak on what they look like!

I put a donation list together if you were wondering what items we would need for the packages, please help out if you can, Thank you and God Bless

For Basket

puzzles

books

Gift cards to restaurants

Individually wrapped snacks

coloring books and crayons

pens

journals

powder drinks (inividual) like crystal light

Scentsy buddy

money, and gift cards would be great to be able to buy the baskets and contents.

we were told on average of 2-5 patients at a time so we are really looking for support. the address you can send donations to is  Elias Adin's Comforting Hearts Inc

                                 12335 waterstone lane apt 813

                                 Perrysburg, OH 43551  

Going back to work

I think this is a hard decision for a lot of mothers after losing a child. When or if you go back to work. I was lucky where I could take six weeks off of work after Elias passed away. We were financially ok since we had life insurance on him and my fellow employees were very generous on giving me their sick and vacation time to use. I remember the phone call that my boss made to me. She called to let me know I had to come back to work on a certain day and to make sure I was ready. I don't think there is ever a time you are ready to go back to work but I was ready to get back into a routine. I worked in Dialysis at the time and had a 45 minute commute. I loved my job and people I worked with but did not look forward to going back. I don't know if it was because I didn't work at that unit for very long before he passed away or if I felt resentment for my job since it took me away from Elias when he was alive. I only took 5 weeks off after he was born and went back full time plus some so I was gone a lot and my husband stayed home with him.  I just remember driving to work every day crying not wanting to go and thinking about the baby. On one hand it was great to get out of the house and be around people but on the other hand being around sick patients all the time wasn't exactly helping. I would hear patients complaining that they can't eat this or drink as much as they wanted, it got real annoying real quick so thank goodness I didn't work there for very long after. It was just a month after because I got pregnant with Tidus and my body was telling me to slow down.  The Dr's put me on bed rest because my body was trying to miscarry him, due to all of the stress and it was definitely a blessing in disguise.
I ended up being a stay at home mom for a year and a half which was the first time I have ever had the chance to do and it was exactly what I needed. It's definitely a very personal choice and don't let anyone tell you what you need to do, whether its going back to work a week after or never going back. You have to do what's right for you and what is going to get you through living after a loss.

God Bless