Going back to work

I think this is a hard decision for a lot of mothers after losing a child. When or if you go back to work. I was lucky where I could take six weeks off of work after Elias passed away. We were financially ok since we had life insurance on him and my fellow employees were very generous on giving me their sick and vacation time to use. I remember the phone call that my boss made to me. She called to let me know I had to come back to work on a certain day and to make sure I was ready. I don't think there is ever a time you are ready to go back to work but I was ready to get back into a routine. I worked in Dialysis at the time and had a 45 minute commute. I loved my job and people I worked with but did not look forward to going back. I don't know if it was because I didn't work at that unit for very long before he passed away or if I felt resentment for my job since it took me away from Elias when he was alive. I only took 5 weeks off after he was born and went back full time plus some so I was gone a lot and my husband stayed home with him.  I just remember driving to work every day crying not wanting to go and thinking about the baby. On one hand it was great to get out of the house and be around people but on the other hand being around sick patients all the time wasn't exactly helping. I would hear patients complaining that they can't eat this or drink as much as they wanted, it got real annoying real quick so thank goodness I didn't work there for very long after. It was just a month after because I got pregnant with Tidus and my body was telling me to slow down.  The Dr's put me on bed rest because my body was trying to miscarry him, due to all of the stress and it was definitely a blessing in disguise.
I ended up being a stay at home mom for a year and a half which was the first time I have ever had the chance to do and it was exactly what I needed. It's definitely a very personal choice and don't let anyone tell you what you need to do, whether its going back to work a week after or never going back. You have to do what's right for you and what is going to get you through living after a loss.

God Bless