How the loss effects the kids

It's hard to even begin on this topic because we had only one older child at the time, Karter who was 7. At the time he was old enough to understand about it but I still don't think losing a sibling is anything a kid can really comprehend. How could he, it's hard enough for adults. I do remember though the morning after Elias passed away I got up and sat in the recliner at my grandmas house and Karter sat on my lap as we watched the news. This is how the conversation went. Karter, "mom I love you". Me "love you too baby". Karter,"do you think Elias has met great grandpa yet?" and then I cried and hugged him tight. He is such a sweet boy and he is so thoughtful. He truly is one of a kind. I know he loved Elias so much. He was so excited to have a baby brother,so I thought it would be a great idea for karter to write a few things he was feeling at the time and how he deals with it now. This is what he had to say.

I remember I was at my great grandma's house when I found out that Elias passed away. My great grandma knew before I did because my grandma called to tell her. I didn't know till they came back to the house. I was very sad and couldn't believe that it happened.
I really didn't know what to expect at the showing but I remember I was up at the casket rubbing his forehead, there really wasn't a reason why, I just wanted to be close to him.
When my mom and dad had Tidus I was really excited, and I was really happy it was another boy. I think it made it easier for me since it took my mind off losing Elias. I love looking at all the pictures and videos of Elias. It makes me smile every time I see him. I talk about him too a lot. Every time a friend asks me how many brothers and sisters I have I tell them 3, and tell them about Elias. He will always be my little brother!

So as you can tell, Karter is an amazing boy. I think he has handled every thing so well, and yes one day more emotions might come out and he we will have to help him through that. He did get really emotional after he came and visited us in the hospital after having Tidus. He cried in the car because he didn't want it happening again. So things do surface at different times for him. The little ones are going to be a lot different, it's totally up to us to tell them about Elias. We are just now really telling Tidus about him. He has always seen photos up of him but he finally says his name and will tell people he has two brothers and is so proud. He will go by and say oh baby Elias when he sees a photo. I can't wait to be able to tell both of them all about their amazing brother who touched so many lives. Yes, I will tell them about how he passed away. I don't plan on sheltering them from the sad things here on earth because this will be a main source on telling them about God too. I get to tell them we will get to see Elias again and he is in an amazing place waiting for us. I think kids need to know that life isn't a fairy tale, it's a hard and people suffer. People have to live after a loss, because if we didn't they wouldn't be here.

God Bless