The dreaded question: How many kids do you have??

Oh how I hate this question; How many kids do you have?

I actually answer this question two ways but it can go in many different directions. Most of the time I say 4. And leave it at that, but sometimes it's not that cut and dry. They want to know how old, their names and if "4" of them aren't with me, where they are. Now this is where it gets awkward. I don't think there is a right way to do this, even after the last 3 1/2 years I haven't found what works best. I have a hard time just telling people I have 3 kids because I don't, and I only usually tell people 3 if it's in passing and I know I will never see them again.

So this is how I go about telling people about my 4 kids. I start with the baby and go up, or I say we have 3 older boys and a 6 month old girl or i just say they range from 11 to 6 months. Now it is a lot different with karter's friends parents or sport team families. I just jump into it full steam ahead. I just say we lost our 2nd son to a brain tumor and I get the dropping of the jaw. I always feel really bad for just unloading the news on people because they either start crying or it just becomes very uncomfortable. No one expects to hear that no matter what the situation is.

I guess my advise would be if you don't want to explain it to random strangers don't, you probably will never see them again. Now if you plan on having a relationship with them or your kids will you might as well get it out there and let them know from the beginning. It seems to work best for us even though sometimes I feel like I depress everyone on the initial explanation. Please do what's comfortable for you, I don't mind talking about it so it's a lot more awkward for them than me, but hey I'm the one living after a loss.

God Bless.